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"Misadventures"
…from the moment the interview started, it was destined to fail.
Yesterday I tweeted: Just saw a semi-truck too tall for an overpass get it’s top shaved off. Not as cool as I imagined it would be. The sound of the top of the truck’s roof being cut apart by the bridge was unexpected and startling. I was so taken aback I think I even cursed! [...]
On Monday evening I was standing perplexed in front of the jukebox at Lyle’s debating which classic Styx number to close the night with when Matt, a friend of my girlfriend’s, approached. Matt and I were catching-up when two women approached. These women were friends with Matt. They helped me choose the right Styx power-ballad. [...]
As an improvisational actor that craves being in front of an audience, the opportunity to perform in Rubber Chicken Theater’s Chicken Hat Plays is a golden opportunity. After two flight delays (thanks Frontier Air), I picked up my friend Lauren at 12:30AM Friday morning from the Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport. We had seven and a [...]
Last week I scheduled an audition with a production company for a film. The audition was immediately following my Best Buy audition, which may have explained my hurried look. At any rate, I left the Best Buy audition with thirty minutes to get to the other side of northeast for the film audition. I arrived [...]
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( * = This post will likely create more frustrations than sharing may be worth (like this post), but I’d like to reiterate a telephone conversation I had moment’s ago.) GIRLWhatever. J/k. MEWhat!? Did you just say “j/k?” GIRLYeah? So? MEWhat the fuck?! What would possess you to say… You’re talking to me, you’re not [...]
Riddle: What do you get when you combine thin (see-through) vintage tan slacks and dark-colored boxer-briefs? Answer: 66 performances of me unknowingly sharing my unmentionables with an audience. I wish someone had pointed this out to me…in January. mv
An open letter. To the teenager driving around Lake Calhoun on Tuesday: When I saw you stick your head out the window as we passed, in the back of my mind I thought you were going to offer me a kind, cheerful word. Perhaps you had once experienced the joy of two wheels and known [...]
(An Amish buggy in the parking lot of Dairy Queen in Nappanee, Indiana.)In the middle of Indiana, we stopped to get lunch at a Dairy Queen. We walk in and instantly I realize three things: 1) the place is packed, 2) everyone is looking at us, and 3) everyone is Amish. The horse and buggy [...]
Opps! It happened again.Tonight on stage, in front of 600+ audience members, I dropped another martini glass. Boy oh boy, was that humbling! However, the show wasn’t all bad. Tonight one of my castmates said the following: “Some nights, you remind me of Bob Dole.” It shouldn’t have made my night, but for some weird [...]
Saturday, OH what a day! I may and/or may not have pneumonia. I failed to raise the money, thus I failed to take the plunge this afternoon. In front of 900 audience members at the Guthrie, I dropped and spilled two full martini glasses during the matinee. Glass was everywhere. Before I could remove said [...]
Today I sent a ton of people this email: “Tomorrow morning I’m jumping into Lake Calhoun. Yes, I know it’s still winter! No, I don’t have a death wish! It’s for a good cause! By jumping into Lake Calhoun and freezing my…um…fingers and toes…I’m raising money for the Special Olympics. To help me reach my [...]
Before 9AM three creditors called. Feeling too sleepy to speak directly to their concerns, I let my voicemail do the busy work. Rolling over, I closed my eyes and attempted to sleep for another hour. Between 9AM and 10AM my phone rang four more times. I became frustrated with my creditor’s insistence that I pay [...]
This morning.4:49AM. “Can you drive me home” “Where do you live?” “46th and East Lake.” “Nope.” (Enter: Middle finger.) “Too much to risk. BUT if you were any other coke-fiend from a party, you’d totally get a ride.” “I’d give you a ride home.” “But we wouldn’t survive.” Happy Valentine’s Day.
This morning I had an impromptu telephone interview with a recruiter for a staffing agency. The woman on the other end of the line was named Celeste. And as much as I love talking about prior employment and “selling myself,” I was having a difficult time focusing my attention on this potential employer’s questions. All [...]
Around 4AM I went to bed drunk thanks in part to creme de banana, spiced rum, and watermelon schnapps. At 8AM my alarm went off and I didn’t get up. At 9:30 I looked at the clock and realized I had court in thirty minutes, thirty minutes away. Lucky for me, at the theater this [...]
On October 15, 2008, I wrote about my plans for unemployment: “I’m going to be poor. I’m going to be in the unemployment line. I’m going to sell my plasma. I’m going to sell my sperm?” Here’s an update: 1) I am poor. 2) The unemployment line exists in cyber-space and once a week I’m [...]
I have eight minutes before I have to hop in the shower. A few different matters are at hand… My license is suspended. It’s been suspended since December 26. That’s my bad. My fault. I hope to have it reinstated tomorrow at court. Seven minutes. Yes, I have court tomorrow. I’m contesting this ticket in [...]
One of my closest friends in Duluth needed a date to her company’s “holiday party.” As I mentioned here, I went to Duluth. It was for that party. At 40 miles-per-hour on Interstate 35, it took me four hours to reach Duluth. The weather was mean and didn’t want anyone to make it north of [...]
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- I'd do it! RT @StarTribune: Imagine human hibernation. http://bit.ly/hwx444
- (cont) ...either people really like spending time with paint fumes contained on the lower-level, or people are hard-up for cash. #economy
- My boss asked me to post an ad on Craigslist looking for a laborer to paint a basement at $10/hr. I've received over 50 apps... (cont)
- Will be posting for @bloggerstock in the next few moments - standby...
- Looking forward to putting it into words! RT @20sb Blog Swap topic is: Action. What are you gonna do next year that you've put off too long?
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